14 December 2011, Wednesday 1229 (NZ time)
Dear First Future Boyfriend,
How are you? How are things going, for us? I hope all is fine. You are reading this letter because you either found it somewhere or that I have been convinced that is the right time to give this to you and have you read this. I hope that it is not too late. I’m writing this draft (which I’m planning to give, with the letter) as I go and I will make a final copy with just writing neatly and changing the grammar mistakes, so it actually seems like I’m talking to you.
First of all, I want to thank you for choosing me. Thank for you; your time, your smiles, your hugs and cuddles, your Hi’s, your messages, txts, mail and all the sort. Thank you for being you. If you ever feel insecure, please don’t ever forget that I’m with you because I chose you, like you have, hopefully, chosen me. I’ll always be there for you no matter what, even when the time in which you decide that we should part. I’m only a phone call, a shout or a nudge, even a head flick away. DON’T EVER FORGET THAT. Speaking of which, I don’t know why I’m talking about breaking up (I guess the quote “Expecting the worst but hoping for the best” would explain this) but yeah… For whatever reason our breakup is, if it was any of our fault, by means of cheating *Fingers’ crossed. I wouldn’t ever do that to anyone, especially you; I know there’s a reason behind it and I wish to talk it through to make things clear and I hope we stay as friends. I would be really, if not drastically upset and hard to talk to but I’ll eventually get out of it.
I’m sorry for every fault that I’ve done. As they say, “Nobody’s perfect”. However, I can clearly tell you that I may not be the best but I am being me, at my best. That is all there is. I hope that you’re being yourself too. I wouldn’t even mind at all. Please. It helps with getting used to us, if we hadn’t already have, for the future, wherever we’re headed.
Hopefully by this time, we know quite a lot about each other for I am to talk about something quite -uhhhh-… I don’t you can say how it is. By now, I’m hoping that you know about “the guy”. Well… he’s “the guy” I like(d) when I was 13/14 and maybe till I’m 15 or even 16. I don’t really know for know, as I write this. He was the first guy out of relation, whom I admitted that I love though he doesn’t know it. He’s so different from my other crushes before. What I feel for him is so different. It’s different and yeah. He changed me. Into a better person. If you wish to, I’d talk to you about this privately. IF YOU WANT TO. In saying that, do keep in mind that I’m with you now, so it’s all you. You might not be my first love but I choose you. Alrighty? Don’t forget that, kay-kay?
Sorry if I’m boring and knowing me, yes, you do get bored around me quite a lot. But hey, I’ll always try brighten things up in my own weird, awkward ways! So there’s no need to worry! LOL
This will be so ambitious and bossy of me but I have some date ideas. Ooooh….
- Spend the day at a - theme park. Go on rides at the theme park. Extreme ones. As well as kiddie ones XD
- zoo. We can pet the animals! = D
- museum/art galleries. Be all sophisticated and posh. LOL. Just be us <3
~ We’ll hug each other. Hold each other’s hand. We’ll share one candy-floss-on-a-stick. Kiss you at the
top of the Ferris Wheel.
~Hug you reeeeeeeeally tight in the rain. Kiss you underwater. Go skateboarding with you on just one board. Make leaf/snow/sand angels. Share a scarf. Cuddle each other to sleep. –I actually want to experience hugging/cuddling you to sleep after crying. Shout things with you from a high place. Bury our selves in the sand.
- Spend the day in each other’s shoes. Like:
-Play the sports we like
-Do the stuff we like. Eg. Gaming, skating, reading, arts, piano, guitar
- Spend a day teaching each other stuff. You know, maybe you can teach me one of your hobbies.
- Spend the day in each other’s houses
- Spend time cuddling, talking to each other, getting to know each other, watch movies
- Spend time with each other’s family
*Oh and by the way, in case we haven’t told our family about us yet, I would love you to be with me when I tell mine and for me to be there when you tell yours, unless you prefer to do it by yourself.
- Camp out outside, or maybe even inside
- Spend time with kids
- Oh and go mall shopping, maybe? Com’on it’d be fun oi! XD
- I’d also want to have that moment when I’m comfortable enough to let you read my diary entries and other personal stuff. You know, I just really want to be honest with you, darling. Hopefully it happens vice versa. Oh and since I said “darling”, I actually am wondering if we call each other lovey-dovey names, or if we have our own one or we just call each other as other people would. Oh my goodness! NOW, I’m really looking forward in meeting you, if I already hadn’t have. I read this quote “80% of people have already met the person they’re going to marry by the age of 16.” Just a random thought, I had just now. Just saying, LOVE.
- I’d want to spend special (occasion) days with you.
- I don’t know what your religion is as of now but I’d want to go to church with you.
- I’d want to go to a road trip with you.
- Maybe even go overseas to a nearby country. (Like one of the guy’s friend, and his girlfriend). It’d be fun, I guess.
- I want to slow dance with you
- I’d also want us to take pictures, and one day, we can try the photo booth and make a scrapbook out of them.
- I’d also actually want to have a double/triple/quadruple ~group date with our friends.
- Oh and I don’t know why but I also want to try spend some time apart. You know, how will it be like for us, how things will go, build up some feelings till the next time we see each other. I wouldn’t want to be the clingy type.
- I’m about too make things way more awkward, to the max, but I have to state this. If this hasn’t been discussed in our relationship yet, I believe in marriage before sexual intercourse. Sorry about that. I hope you understand and respect my view. I may not be your first, -err… this is a bit awkward… but yeah… I sure am fine with that. I don’t know why I even said that, for self-reassurance I guess? But yeah…
I want you to know that I’m not only here as your girlfriend but I’m also here as your friend, your bestfriend. It is quite similar to what I’ve said earlier but you know, this is coming from a different root. You have my shoulder, even though I’m too short to lean on, as I figured as Angelica would try and lean on me, and I’m all ears for you when you need me. I’ll always give you advice and state opinions but the last say is yours.
I don’t know how far we’ll go, only God knows, but I sure am looking forward to us and knowing me, by the time you possess this letter, I would’ve planned our wedding, our children’s names and planned our house. I’m just so awkward. I’m guessing that I’m head over heels for you at this time. But yeah, if now, after reading this, if you feel strongly about us, if you feel comfortable about it, I’d love to spend some time with you discussing our future. I don’t know what age we are when you read this but anything can happen. By this time (when you read this), I am also unsure if we, or one of use has said the “L” word. Hopefully, someday we’ll get the chance to do so. I can actually visualize the future with this man, though he is blurred, with our kids, in our house. Now, I’ve just made things awkward, didn’t I? Well, what can I say! I’m awkward. But yeah, I hope we don’t become strangers. I do believe the first relationship is the last to marriage stuff. If, that does happen to us, then I don’t have the words to explain how I feel about the matter –or rather that my vocabulary is not equipped enough to support me. But yeah, I am serious about this. As I write this, I’m thinking long-term and I’d like to apologize but no, because this is a dream and I hope you understand. Hey, I’m just stating my voice here, no hard feelings, pressure or whatsoever.
I am proud of us. Of you. I don’t mean to sound boastful, but I actually am. I’d actually constantly tell people about us, about you but they’d get annoyed and some random people will think beepy* of me as I (will) tend to go over-overboard. As I write this letter, I realize that by the time I give this to you, I’d be feeling strongly about us therefore I am sure that I am ready to say something. I love you, dear boyfriend. I love you guy, who chose me. The guy that I’m admitting my love to right now, the guy who makes me smile, the guy who gives me hugs, the guy who’s there by my side, the guy who made me cry sad and happy tears, the guy who I tell my friends about, the guy who will hopefully allow me to talk about him to others, the guy who will introduce me to his family and friends, the guy who will take care of me -my heart, the guy who I dedicated love songs to, the guy who I’ll sing to in front of, in the public, or when I’m alone with my screechy voice just (so I can let my feelings out), the guy whose name I constantly write randomly on papers, desks or even in the air, the guy whose name I’ll say in a whisper, out loud and shout for quite a few times, the guy who keeps me day dreaming, the guy who makes me think that reality is finally better than my dreams, the guy who supports, understands and respects me, the guy whom I treasure every millisecond I spend with him, the guy who I write diary entries and posts (on sites) about, the guy who’s to blame for all the hearts I’ve drawn everywhere, the guy who’s to blame if I ever have to snap out to reality because he just has that effect on me –so I can do what I’m supposed to do, the guy who I will introduce to my family and friends, the guy who I’ll have pictures of and with –which I’ll stick to places, saved on my iPod, my phone and laptop, the guy whom I’ll spend monthsaries, anniversaries, birthdays and other special occasions with, the guy whom I’ll give the tightest of hugs to, the guy who I will have late night conversations with, the guy who I’d video call, the guy who I will miss, the guy who I’d look for, the guy who I’ll be crazy about, the guy who’s drving me craaaazy, the guy who I can have awkward situations with but still not feel awkward, the guy who I can share my secrets with and vice versa, the guy who’s cause the tears for our fights, the guy who’ll make me laugh, the guy whom I’ll have silly kiddie fights with, the guy who’s the reason why I’m learning love songs, or his favourite songs on the guitar and the piano, the guy who I can cry in front of, the guy who’ll be in my display picture, the guy who’ll make my knees go weak and my heart beat faster and suddenly skip a beat just thinking about him and our relationship, the guy who’ll make me cry when I realize how much we’ve gone through, the guy who’ll bare with my flaws and insecurities and my ramblings, the guy who will be there for with no matter what, the guy whom I respect, support, trust, the guy who’s always in my mind, the guy who’s making me want to list more things here because I’m here dreaming of our future together as a couple, the guy who I spent three late nights to: 1) Type the letter on my iPod –which I accidentally deleted; 2) Write the draft; 3) Typing this tonight, the guy who I am just so eager to meet, the guy who’s worth the wait, the guy who’s worth the fight, the guy who’s the recipient of this letter, the guy whose all this listing is about, the guy who’s occupying my whole mind right this moment, the guy whom I’m eager to spend time of my life with, the guy who I am really really badly eager to meet, the special guy in my life who is hopefully smiling as he read this. I LOVE YOU.
Oh and one more thing. I know that we will get into fights and stuff and maybe breakups and make-ups several times, I’ve read it (Wow! That’s real’ deep and convincing Jannine! *Note the sarcasm. But yeah, what I’ve read is true –from Tumblr), I’d like to remind you, or rather me that it is normal. As I feel insecure, at times. Plus I’m not the social type, -that’s one of the factors of why I’m the jealous type as well, I’m not used to (talking) people. I sure am a keen person when it comes to meeting and talking to people but sometimes, or most of the time I feel uncomfortable, it’s not them, it’s me. I’m awkward. Did that even make sense, at all?? When we get into fights, let us let each other take some time off to calm down and after that happens, we’ll talk things through. We’ll each have our say. I will try my best to keep this, our relationship working, as long as you feel the same way, for I know you are worth fighting for.
I shall find you soon,
Jannine Clyssa Gorembalem-Getalado
Your future girlfriend
PS – During our relationship, I would *not might, borrow or steal/sneak out one of your clothes and some of your stuff. Forgive me for that. Or I’ll get you to give me something just so I’d feel close to you whenever I’m not close to your presence (Gosh! I sounded so lovesick right there) or whenever I don’t feel like I am, which is likely never going to happen as you’ll be in my thoughts, so let’s just say when I just really really miss you, so I can wear or hug it. Does that sound freaky? Oh and If you decide to read this letter with me… Just tell me ♥